Did you know that expressing feelings is different from finding fault?
In expressing feelings, often confused with complaining, you express your feelings along with your needs about a specific event, for example: I’m upset that you treated my father coldly last night. I would have liked you to introduce me to dinner when we were together and…
In finding fault, we express the negative feeling or belief that we have about our spouse’s personality or characteristics, for example: how clingy, arrogant, or you don’t know how to socialize.
In fault finding, you are expressing negative mental beliefs about your spouse, not the truth of the incident. Sometimes, we don’t know the edges of an event and we only judge based on our preconceived mentality.
What makes life cold is finding fault, not expressing feelings.
One of the best ways to avoid anger between couples is to express both negative and positive feelings. For example, remembering a memory makes you feel good or vice versa…, if you share it with your spouse and talk about that feeling and its details, perhaps this expression of feelings will empty your excess excitement and bring you to a state of mental balance. Consolidate provided that your spouse has learned the technique of empathizing and not trying to judge you by listening effectively.
